australia travelogue

Travels in Australia - Andy Webb 2003

Western Australia

Saturday 13th/Sunday 14th June - London-Kuala Lumpur-Perth

I arrived at Heathrow courtesy of a lift from Gina and Steve in good time to join the already growing queue for Malaysian Airlines. After a wait of about half an hour I got to the desk only to be told I need to wait for a minute, while a frowning official went off with my tickets and passport. He returned after 10 minutes to tell me that my Oz Visa that I'd booked through Sta Travel hadn't been booked! Anyway this now involved me going over to the Malaysian Airlines desk, paying another £20 for a Visa. Anyway panic over, I returned to the desk and got checked in, now with no time for a coffee or last minute shopping. So I boarded the plane for what was to be the longest flight I had ever done.

My neighbour was a middle aged woman who worked in Phuket, Malaysia, an apparent regular on these flights. We waited for the plane to fill up, both secretly hoping that the aisle seat wouldn't be taken so we could have more space. But, alas, no such luck, a middle-eastern guy promptly sat down and fell asleep! So for the next 11 hours I was to be tethered to a chair with mediocre inflight TV and entertainment. Well at least I had my copy of Bill Bryson, that should get me in the mood for Oz. One finds on long haul flights that you have to develop new ways of doing things. First of all you have to struggle to exist in a space that even a rabbit would find uncomfortable. Secondly, one has to develop new ways of eating with a knife and fork without stabbing your neighbour or covering them in flying food! Other things to look out for, include, spraying the back of the seat in front with fresh cream and yoghurt and tipping a glass of ice into your lap (this happened twice!) On top of this I also managed to get through 3 pairs of headphones, crash the inflight entertainment system no less than five times. The inflight movies were served with rocklike ice cream that a dentist would have nightmares about. Amazingly the 11 hours seemed to pass relatively quickly, I'm not sure if I got any sleep, but I severely doubt it, not even the abysmal Kangaroo Jack could send me under!

I had a two hour stop in Kuala Lumpur on Sunday morning, not too much to say, but being my first visit to Asia, I had hoped for longer! A nice feature of KL International is that it has a nice mini-forest enclosed in glass in the centre, this was wonderfully juxtaposed with a noisy 'wheel of fortune' style exhibit which was ploughing out such classics by Richard Marx and Aerosmith.

The Perth Flight was a mere formality, only being about 6 or so hours, I also managed to bag 3 seats to myself, but now I was too excited to sleep. My first sight of Oz was the coastline of Shark Bay, a place we were planning to go. At around 3pm Sunday we touched down in Perth. After a long queue for passport control which involved the usual drill of only having 3 of 8 counters open, it was my turn. The passport guy took one look at me and told me to go over to a table at the back, where another guy was checking my passport, apparently my details matched someone on their wanted list! Anyway I managed to persuade him I wasn't an axe murderer and then proceeded to customs. This is when the fun started!

A word of advice, do not say you have nothing to declare, for some reason this means your lying in Australia! My plan of getting through quickly a la Heathrow/Gatwick styly where you could skate through smoking a large spliff and juggle a selection of nuclear bombs unnoticed was doomed from the start. I joined a queue of very disgruntled people who looked like they had been there for a few years, further on I saw groups of customs officials literally ripping peoples luggage apart. Anyway, luckily, things sped up, knowing that I had nothing to hide, I presumed it would be quite a cheery affair. However, my attempts at conversation were strongly blocked, every item in my luggage was a potential weapon it seemed, and I needed to have a reason for packing everything. How long was I staying? What was I doing? Where was I staying? Who was I seeing? All these and much more were asked of me. Then came the questions about my recreational habits, do you smoke pot? Do you take E? Not wanting to lie, I mentioned that I had done in the past, this then opened me up to more questions, when, where, with who?! Then they took my credit cards for analysis, now this was getting stupid! The stupidity became a potentially alarming situation when one of the officers returned and said he had found traces of cocaine on my cards! This, I knew, was quite impossible, due to the fact that they were new cards and hadn't been used as a chopping device. Anyway they said they needed to get a higher authority, now I was beginning to shake just a little bit, having travelled for 24 hours, facing the prospect of an immediate return! They said they wanted to search me (fine just bloody do it, I don't need to go into any little room, though!), they read me my rights (to be searched!) then came the search, just like a Friday night trying to get into a London club then, oh and they even asked if my girlfriend took drugs, my response, she's a drug counsellor! (she actually is) Anyway, when they realized that I wasn't a drug dealer they let me thought with have a nice trip, thankyou I replied, why did I thank them?! F**k knows.

I had envisaged the moment where I would see Helen, my girlfriend, for the first time in nearly 2 months. I had planned to stride out, take her in my arms spin her around and flower her with roses, but the customs officials had rather stunned me, so instead it was a more causal hello and a kiss! It must have taken me a good couple of hours to relax properly from my surreal experience, maybe it was just mild jetlag! Anyway Helen's friend Fiona drove us into Perth, Helen met Fiona and her husband, Cameron, as part of a South American Trip 3 years ago, and Helen had finally taken them up on their offer of a place to stay if she ever travelled in Oz.

We drove through the business district of Perth, a nice clean compact looking city I thought. We stopped at Kings Park and got some great views at the War Memorial overlooking Swan River and the city. Then it was back to Fiona and Cameron's in Claremont (about a ten minute drive from central Perth) for a spruce up, a very enthusiastic welcome my their little dog who seemed to like the taste of my trousers! Me and Helen started off in the Hotel Redrock, a nice large pub with nice big leather sofas, a DJ playing cool sounds. And so it was we collapsed in to the best seats in the pub and caught up with each other stories. After a while the hunger pangs returned, after having nothing but airline food for one whole day, I fancied something nice. We purchased a bottle of the aptly named Marmaduke Red Wine, before heading to Bellisimo, a nice Italian next door to the pub, a lot of restaurants rather handily are BYO (Bring your own booze), this is definitely a good idea, it makes things a lot cheaper! We must of been the last people to order, but the service was swift and friendly, and the food, very nice. At last I felt like I had arrived!

 

Monday 16th June - Rottnest Island & fremantle

We set out in fresh sunny conditions for the brief 5 minute walk to Loch Street, through leafy suburbs that reminded me a bit of LA. On the train we got talking to a guy who used to live in Dover, I think he overheard my comments about the disaster that is British Rail! My impressions of how friendly Australians are increased when we were given a guided escort to the port by an old guy who was also going to Rottnest, but as part of a cycling club. After tea and muffins in pleasant fleece like temperatures we boarded the ferry. We were immediately rewarded by the sight of dolphins swimming down past the boat, fantastic! The journey took about 40 minutes, only broken up by the shortest and most boring of compulsory safety videos. I also devised the idea of windscreen wipers for my sunglasses as I spent most of the journey getting covered in spray!

Rottnest Island is the home of quokkas and cycling! Rottnest or rats nest as it generally means is famous for its squirrel/rat/rabbit lookalikes unique to the Island. After purchasing a map, we picked out bikes and set off for our 25km bike ride around the island, the conditions were perfect, brilliant sun, but a nice breeze to prevent getting too hot. God knows what its like in the summer though. Rottnest gives you great views of the Perth/fremantle coastline and the surrounding area, including a selection of shipwrecks, left from unfortunate voyages. We stopped for lunch at the main lighthouse, probably a vital instrument in keeping those shipwreck numbers down. The cycle wasn't that arduous, although there were a few tricky hills. We passed some beautiful lakes covered with great birdlife, before meeting up with the cycling club again, I don't know how far they had got, but they were still in the resort! Don't know why you would need a week to cycle the Island, we did it in 4 and a bit hours! Anyway we eventually found the quokkas hiding in the trees by the resort lake, one guy had just been bitten by one, so I guess they weren't as cuddly as they looked! I want one though! They are indeed a cross between a rabbit, rat, squirrel and wallaby (mainly due to their hopping and their pouches) After leaving the quokkas we dropped off the bikes and got a drink at the tearooms overlooking the sea. We were joined by a dove, some large gulls and a mother and baby quokka! The best bit was a standoff between the baby quokka and a seagull, it ended up with the quokka hopping off a ledge at extreme speed and under the tearooms. Meanwhile his or her mother had taken an interest in Helen's bag and was trying to break in! Back on the ferry we were forced to endure the health and safety video once more, before dining on bombay mix, cheese and rolls while not admiring some male furry boot fashion!

Back in fremantle, we arranged our campervan for the next day, before proceeding to the Sale and Anchor pub for drinks. The pub is a typical Victorian colonnial building which houses a great pub and micro-brewery. We opted for 6 taster beers for $15, some nice, some fat. Fiona joined us just at the point when the room was invaded by 50 or so American squaddies. Apparently it was a honourable discharge ceremony, most of which involved swearing on the bible, a little speech by the captain (or whatever) and then lots of loud hollowing and cheering. My sarcastic comments about dishonourable discharge ceremonies must have got noticed because then one of them came over to explain it all. But he left with us more confused! We then left them to their noisy party to go to the Norfolk Hotel, a British like pub with a nice beer garden and playing cool jazz. This was my first taste of Redback Beer, nice!

We then crossed the park to a place called Little Creatures, a restaurant/bar/brewery/art gallery housed in a large warehouse that was built especially for the Americas Cup. We were also joined by Fiona's other half, Cameron. We ordered our food, the Kangaroo on Skewers with tomato chutney was tasty, the meat being very soft. After dinner, me and Helen checked out the art display, which was frankly, disappointing. The best exhibit was a helium snowman that belonged to one of the diners that ended up stuck to the high ceiling, when a little kid purposely untied it!

Tuesday 17th June - Perth-Denmark

In the morning we got the train to Bayswater to collect our campervan, we had arranged to be met by Sylvia the owner of the company. So the next twenty minutes we played Guess the Sylvie to every car that came into the carpark. After going through the procedure of paying, getting shown the van we were off, not before a brief trip to the supermarket for supplies. About half an hour later we were heading down the Albany Highway towards the South Coast. The one thing you almost immediately realize about Oz is the sheer size of the place. On the map, it looked like a leisurely 2 hour drive, but in actual fact it was more like 5 hours. The journey was broken up by a couple of roadhouse stops, where such wonderful items as Chicken Rolls, Curry Pies and bland sandwiches could be purchased.

Helen did a good job interrogating me the whole way in a very successful method to keep me awake while driving, unlike driving in England, the Australian driving experience is very different in that tiredness comes more out of unchanging scenery and the lack of cars. But, to be honest, this was much more exciting than driving the M40 to under grey skies and sitting in unbearable traffic jams contemplating murder. We must have been about an hour away from Albany when I noticed that first fifth gear was becoming increasingly more difficult to use and then the low fuel light came on. Luckily we made it to a gas station just outside Albany to refuel. By the time we reached Albany it was about 5.30pm and everything was in a dusky pink glow, we went via the port after missing the Denmark turn off, but, eventually we were back on track following the scenic route (in the dark!). Our arrival at Rivermouth Caravan Park in Denmark was uneventful and we parked up in one of the available berths before getting a taxi for the short drive into town.

Well, I say town, Denmark was no more than a little village. We had a few Stellas and games of pool in the Denmark Hotel which was spattered with a couple of locals watching the Sky Sports. After a while the need for food was quite important so we set off to find the Denmark Tavern, recommended for food. First of all we passed a small chinese restaurant idyllically set in a petrol station selling such delightful dishes as Kerosene Chow Mein and Diesel Fried Duck (well I wished they had!) So, as it was we passed by the Chinese and tried to find the pub, 15 minutes later we found it well out of town. It looked nice enough, but we appeared to have arrived on woman's darts night, and the prospect of food was looking more like a couple of packet of crisps. Demoralized we turned around and heading back to the Chinese Petrol Restaurant comforted by the knowledge that it closed at ten. However, it turned out they had decided to shut at nine! So, it was we returned to the Denmark Hotel, praying that food was still being served, otherwise we would literally have to go without as nowhere was open, not even any bottle shops to buy a consolation bottle of wine.

Luckily the restaurant next to the pub was still just open, and we were able to order our food with complimentary salad. The food itself was OK, except that my Risotto tasted like a cross between Rice Pudding and cheese, something I'd rather not experience again! After dining, we found that everyone had gone and the pub was shut, so we decided to walk back along the dark lane to the caravan park, listening out for dingoes and axe murderers.

 

Wednesday 18th June - Denmark-Valley of Giants

We awoke to a scene of unbeatable beauty at sunrise, what had looked like a field in the dark, had now been replaced by a mist covered lake drenched in sunlight and an assortment of birdlife. We had a hearty breakfast of crackers, dips and yoghurt on our handily supplied picnic table that came with the van, the temperature was a tad on the chilly side. This must have also affected our rapidly detiorating van as it wouldn't start. There were no shortage of helpers and initial thoughts that it might be the battery must have been wide of the mark, because a few days later I found the choke! On top of this it transpires we were trying to jumpstart to the power battery and not the car battery! Anyway the van finally started and we just about made it to the petrol station where we filled up, and got the million or so dead flies removed from our windscreen.

Today we planned to take the Great Southern Highway back up to Perth via the Valley of Giants. Just out of Denmark we stopped off at a Meadery to pick up, yes you've guessed it, some mead, but not just some ordinary mead, spicy honey mead, oh and I got some honey as well, thought the bees deserved some respect. Our first stop off was Green Pool, a lovely idyllic beach that you could spend a whole day on without being bothered by a single soul, except that we managed to bother a couple of sunbathers who got their first! We also stopped by Madfish Bay and Waterfall Bay, which was only notable because it had a small waterfall near the beach.

After all that excitement, we entered the realm of the elves. Giant trees rose up from both sides like giant sentinals guarding a well kept secret. Our destination was the Treetop Walk, this was preceded by my first sight of kangaroo, unfortunately it was lying by the side of the road rather still. At the treetop walk we bumped into our van helpers again, who were just coming out. The treetop walk is well worth a visit, constructed from a special type of metal that rusts in such a way to merge with the forest, it also gives the visitor a change to literally walk in the treetops avoiding unnecessary damage to the ground below. The views were quite spectacular, although there was an alarming lack of bird and animal life to be seen, perhaps they were all at lunch. So, in way of compensation, I decided to test how well the canopy walk rocked, the result, not that much, oh well, at least it was safe! The Karri trees were the tallest of them all, offering up a majestic quality. You also get the chance to do the forest floor walks, here you can see some of the older trees and measure up to the sheer size of it all.

We left the Valley of Giants behind us thoroughly satisfied before stopping for lunch at the aptly named Lookout, which was notable for its beautiful view and sporadic fly attacks. The drive back to Perth took longer than anticipated due to an unhuman amount of traffic lights in the Perth suburbs. On stopping for a quick break at a roadhouse our reverse gear decided to pack in, meaning we had to push ourselves out of the parking space!

We spent the evening in Northbridge, Perth's main entertainment area. The restaurant we were going to eat at was shut so we opted for a place called 'The Moon', which served up a nice curry, although the clientele were about as pretentious as a Laurence Llewelyn Bowen Convention.

Thursday 19th June - The drive to Denham

Minus fifth gear and reverse we set off on the long drive to Denham at 8am, the weather was beautiful and we followed the coast for a while before the Great Northern Highway took us away and through farmland. With the weather getting very hot, the soil getting redder, it certainly felt like we were heading away into the middle of nowhere. Radio stations came and went, as did the odd car every half hour or so. We stopped off at the Southern Cross Roadhouse where one of the famous curry pies finally accosted me. The farmland gradually changed from brown to green as we neared the coastal part of the road and Geraldton, by now it was already 2pm. Through Geraldton the terrain soon dispersed into red soil and loose shrubs, the sun began to sit low in the sky which made our fly splattered windscreen quite hard to see out of.

Suddenly, by the side of the road, I spotted a kangaroo, stay there don't move, 120kph became 80kph, but the little bugger decided he wanted to meet the van, 60kph, I tried to swerve but there was a sickening thud on the front and side of the van. I looked back and saw a rather dazed kangaroo still standing shaking his head. We didn't go back so we will never know if he/she was OK, by now the light was really beginning to fade, and the amount of dead animals by the side of the road was beginning increase, you really realise why they all have bull bars here. The sunset brightened our mood with beautiful pinks and oranges juxtaposed against the silhouette of the treeline, then smack! Some unfortunate bird decided to fly straight into the window, unfortunately I don't think it had a chance. Eventually we reached the Denham turnoff at about 5.30pm with the sun now set, the fuel looked OK so we plodded on. The road which didn't look too far on the map, turned out to be about an hour or so's drive, which included driving through what could be described as a moth storm, most of which ended up forever imprinted on the front of the van and the headlights. I was now facing the prospect of having the local wildlife protection agancy coming after me for war crimes, great! The last twenty minutes were spent in deathly silence with the fuel low indicator on, all we could do is hope we'd make it otherwise we would have to spend the night by the side of the road. My plan at this stage was to keep up with the car in front and then use the horn to alarm them that we were out of gas! Luckily it didn't come to that, and we rolled into Denham, only to find all the petrol stations were shut, no! As it happened we still made it into the Caravan Park, and first thing we did, cracked open the beers! Oh and it was then that we noticed that the kangaroo that we had hit had left a massive dent along the side of the side sliding door rendering it unopenable from the outside!

Denham was one the first parts of the Australian mainland to be discovered by European sailors and on first impressions seemed a very nice relaxed little resort, and we were in for a treat when we found a place called the Old Pearler on the front. This beautiful little restaurant is made entirely out of sea shells from the nearby Shell Beach, the idea being conceived by an englishman, was built in 1974-1977. Furniture is made from timber salvages from the old Peron Station shearing shed. Anyway, history lessons aside, the atmosphere, the wine, the company and the food were great. My dish was the freshly caught snapper in mustard, quite frankly one of the best fish meals I had ever had.

After dinner we headed to the Heritage Resort Hotel for drinks, this is Denham's main tourist bar, so it was fairly busy. Anyway we ended up playing 3 really long games of pool, probably much to the amusement or despair of the other drinkers. Our video jukebox selection finally came on at 11.30, at which point, the mixture of red wine and beer was severely making conversation a random exercise. All I remember is having a hazy conversation with ZZ Top and then me and Helen managing to get lost on the way home, even though our caravan park was just simply up the hill, second road on the right!

Friday 20th June - Monkey Mia

After the last couple of days of brilliant sunshine we awoke to cloudy skies, but at least it was warm. We gave the van a much needed refuel before ringing the van hire company. Excuses were given about a new gearbox that had just been installed, but eventually we agreed that we would get a mechanic to check it before we took it any further. So, still minus fifth gear and reverse we took the 30 min drive to Monkey Mia, where people have been coming for many years to meet with the dolphins. On arrival, we paid about $9 for a day pass and parked up. Monkey Mia is essentially just a beach resort with a cafe, a couple of chalets, a visitor centre and an assortment of pelicans. We set down on the beach amongst the indifferent pelicans awaiting the arrival of the dolphins.

After half an hour or so, the first couple became visible, a mother and daughter swim right in close. Luckily due to the time of year, there weren't many people there so we were able to get a prime viewing spot just in the sea. Gradually more dolphins started arriving, so at one point there was about 6 or more dolphins. At one point, a mother had to stop her child from throwing sand at the dolphins, no don't do that dear you'll scare them away! Too right matey we've travelled 1000kms to see these creatures, if you scare them away you'll be pelican feed! The ranger gave an interesting insight in to the history of the dolphins at monkey mia, how they started coming to meet humans every morning. My own instincts suggested that all they were after was the food and maybe just the chance to show off a bit. But don't get me wrong, they were truly amazing to see, apparently one year, a japanese girl ran into the sea and hugged one crying 'I Love You'! Nowadays, you are not allowed to touch them or feed them without permission. Apart from the fact that they have quite sharp teeth, apparently there used to be a big problem with people bringing fish to monkey mia for the dolphins that wasn't fresh or that wasn't in their diet, and a few got quite ill. Now a baby dolphin was putting on quite a show, much to everyone's amusement. Then the rangers got the buckets out and with the help of a shy looking japanese girl they were to ask people from the crowd if they wanted to hand a fish to a dolphin. Strangely though, a lot of people seemed to shy away from this, whether it was fear of getting bitten, getting their feed wet or touching a dead fish, I don't know, but eventually a brave 5 year old stepped forward, and oh shit! Gone in one! The fish that is!

After the excitement of the dolphins we booked aboard a catamaran to explore the surrounding area. Our hosts were a sickly 'couple' called Katy and Benny, 'Gee we had so much fun yesterday!''We saw those lovely turtles!''Do you remember that Benny that was truly amazing wasn't it!' I'm sorry but I know its truly amazing, but you don't have to make out that its the only thing you are capable talking about. OK maybe I'm being a bit harsh, they were quite nice actually. Anyway we got to raise the sail, as a part of crew bonding I suppose. Our fellow passengers were an English girl, and a strange couple from somewhere where they call their women Boogie!

The catamaran is certainly a novel way to travel, there is a net covering up the middle so if you wish to get real close to the sea you can relax in a giant hammock. The weather was quite grey, but according to our hosts this was the best type of light, although the dugongs have now moved north so we won't see any of those because its cold, but we might see one!?! With our complimentary polarized sunglasses that made us all look like extras from a 1970s fishing movie, we sat back and enjoyed the view of endless seagrass. Oh and we also saw a Ray, lots of cormorants and a group of male dolphins fishing. However, the highlight was surprisingly down to a group of Americans who had caught a three foot Tiger Shark and they were holding it until we got there. It was quite a big chap, that obviously looked like it was quite pissed off at being tied to the boat, after tagging him and a struggle they finally got him free and off he went.

On our way back we saw a few turtles and an interesting sea mirage where the land in the distance reflects of the sea making it look like a large island rather than a small strip of land. Back on dry land and away from the shackles of Kate and Benny we checked out the visitor centre and then headed back to Denham. Our first task was to find a mechanic, so we made our way to the outskirts of Denham and in an old car yard we were again greeted by another member of ZZ Top! He was a very pleasant guy and agreed to look at the van for free, although when I told him about the gears, he said, its a bloody mazda van isn't it?! The longshot was that the gears were totally shagged and whoever had fixed them last had just patched them up. So we phoned the van hire place and they agreed to get a van to Kalbarri if we drove the 2 hrs from Denham, we weren't over the moon at this idea, but if they had to come up to Denham we'd lose valuable time, so we agreed that they would bring an automatic up on Sunday morning to Kalbarri (why didn't I take the automatic in the first place?!)

That night we went back to the Old Pearler where I had yet another stunning meal, this time the Seafood Platter, which had a large selection of chili squid, crayfish in seafood sauce, white snapper, garlic prawns, oysters with worcester sauce, bacon and cheese (these were delicious), oh, and crab which I gave up on due to it being too much of a hassle to break open. I should mention at this stage that Helen, sitting opposite me was a vegetarian, and I'm sorry if I grossed you out with those crayfish eyes!

Guess what we did next? Ran in the sea naked? no we went to the pub. Where we spent a few minutes uneasily nodding at bearded men (basically the rest of ZZ Top) wondering which one of them we had spoke to last night. Anyway we got speaking to a guy called Brett (we had spoke to him last night), he turned out to be a very nice guy, and spoke of his time working on an aboriginal community near Alice Springs and the problems with Aboriginal Culture. He also talked about his own marriage break up and how the man loses everything if his wife leaves him whatever the reason.

Saturday 21st June - Denham-Kalbarri

We set off early the next day sad to leave Denham, but our mood was greatly improved when a large red kangaroo hopped across our path, luckily this time he didn't get too close! Just before our turn off back on the road to Kalbarri, we made a short detour to Hamelin Pool, home of the Stromatolites, after a tip off from my Bill Bryson book. Stromatolites are the world's oldest organisms, they are the result of primitive life forms that first existed on earth 3.5 billion years ago. The dome shaped structures reach up to 60cm in height and are formed by single celled organisms called cyanobacteria. Before we checked out the stromatolites we paid a visit to the Old Telegraph Station, that happened to be located in the Hamelin Pool Caravan Park, unfortunately the signs weren't exactly clear and the strict speed limit of 5kph wasn't observed initially. So imagine my surprise, when there was this strange gaunt man waving his arms furiously at me, I wound the window down, 'What the hell do you think your doing? (trying to park) This is a caravan site not a bloody race circuit! You could have killed someone, there are kids over there!' (sitting in a car). Anyway my feeble excuse of 'we're just looking for somewhere to park' must have seemed quite ridiculous as we were the only people there except a mother and child currently sitting in their car. Needless to say, that we took an immediate dislike to each other, so much so that he started throwing stones at the van! We took a quick look around and decided against going into the Old Telegraph Station, just incase the gaunt stone thrower kept his victims in there. We also decided against going in the shop as I was not sure I wanted a lecture on caravan park etiquette. So, hoping desperately that we didn't have to rely on this man to get us breakdown assistance, I turned the ignition of the van, luckily it started first time. After a few loops of the caravan park burning rubber we left in search of life forms with more intelligence, the stromatolites! (the part about burning rubber isn't actually true!)

OK, so if someone told you to travel 5500km to go and look at the worlds oldest organisms you might think it'd be worth it, but alas, although it was quite interesting, there is little that excites you about these rock formations except what they are. Perhaps if they marketed them the worlds oldest orgasms you might get more interest or perhaps you could start up an 'Annoy the Hamelin Pool Caravan Park owner' theme park! But as it was, some of them looked like bits from the foundations of an old house, while the others just looked like rounded rocks in the sea. So we left it at that.

In a couple of hours we were in Kalbarri and making our way to the Murchison Caravan Park. Cameron and Fiona had arrived the night before and had booked us a berth, so we parked up and went and admired their camping complex which consisted of a large tent with entire cooking unit and a double sleeping area. We went to check emails in the town and were glad we took the car as it started raining very hard, the first bad rain of the trip so far. Not deterred we went for a stroll on Chinaman Beach via trees and telephone cables lined with flaming galaars. Kalbarri, on first impression looked a beautiful place, the main front is protected by the last part of a river tributary so the beaches are safe to swim in.

After a couple of beers we headed out looking for an outdoor BBQ restaurant, a little bit fool hardy considering that it was still raining. It was then that we noticed that most of the power in Kalbarri was out, and the BBQ place was shut. Eventually we stumbled upon the Grass Tree Restaurant, which was open, it looked very inviting with its candlelight. I can heartily recommend this place, the food was stunning and does a large variety of Asian and Vegetarian dishes. Unfortunately, the main lights came back on halfway through, signalling the end of the candlelight. After our meal, we strolled over to the Gilgai Tavern where 2 bands were playing tonight. The first, Tragic Delicate were a cool sounding Indie Band, that made you wonder why they were in Kalbarri and not playing the major venues in Perth, Sydney etc, but this seems to be the great thing about Australian Live Music, firstly its free (most of the time), and no matter how big you are you still play the small venues in the middle of nowhere, well, why not you can also enjoy the beautiful surroundings at the same time. I can't see Catford, Bury, Newport Pagnall and Haywards Heath having the same pull. The last band were an all girl affair called Jonas who weren't bad, they encouraged people to join in, especially one particular Aussie guy who had invented some new dance routine which resembled thrashing around a lot and almost falling over. Just when you thought this was a genuine Australian experience, a group of English Rugby fans came in singing 'Swing Low' toasting Englands earlier victory over Australia. By then, it was all a pleasant union of mad thrashing Aussie bloke, loud music, rugby chants and a rather pissed aboriginal girl at the back demanding one particular song over and over again, what a night!

Sunday 22nd June - Kalbarri

Our first mission of the day was to swap our van for a new one, 45 minutes later than planned, our replacement was there, apparently the driver didn't realize how far Kalbarri was, but not too worry, we accepted our new van with reverse and automatic gears gratefully. The weather had just turned bad as we walked up to the cycle hire place which looked shut. However, hidden away amongst the sweets and postcards, a woman emerged with a look like 'you must be english if your hiring a bike in this weather'. Anyway a couple of minutes later, our bikes chosen we were cycling along the coastal path towards the Rainbow Jungle getting lashed from all sides by rain and wind. Not surprisingly we didn't see another cyclist, at least until an english girl passed us a bit later on, admittedly the rain had then stopped. By the time we reached the Rainbow Jungle the sun had come out. The Rainbow Jungle is a very pretty tropical bird sanctuary with a large assortment of different species. By far the highlight was a parrot called Cocky who could provided great amusement with his one-liners, head twirling and his sticking head in cup routine. The best part of the sanctuary itself was an enclosure where all the birds fly freely amongst you.

After the Rainbow Jungle we went back to the caravan park for a spot of lunch before joining Fi and Cam on a drive out to some of Kalbarri's coastal spots. Our first stop was Pot Alley Gorge, which was an impressive deep cut in the coast, with crashing waves creating china white swirls that could drown even the most accomplished swimmer. Next up was Red Blush which offered spectacular views of the sea and Kalbarri itself, before finishing off at Chinaman Point for sunset with a banquet of beer and crisps.

Evening was spent huddled in Cam and Fi's camping area consuming a hearty pasta meal, beer and warmed mead while the rain crashed down outside.

 

Monday 23rd June - Gorge Walk

Our plan today was to do the gorge walk which apparently took about 5-6 hours, unfortunately when we got to the turn off the road was closed due the amount of rain the night before. So we returned to the tourist info to find out when it might open, they suggested that it might be open later but it was doubtful. We checked out Kalbarri Boat Hire, where a disinterested boat owner tried his best to persuade us not to hire his boats, I think he probably wanted another day off due to the weather. Anyway on leaving the tourist info car park we were told to head to the Ross Graham Lookout, apparently some nice walks could be had from there.

30 minutes later we were descending a rocky path to the main river in glorious sunshine and flies. The river was flanked one side by a big red strata like rockface puckered with small erosion holes, whilst on the other side a more flat rocky terrain prevailed. A big red kangaroo hopped straight past us, once again too damn quick for a picture! We crossed the river like professionals, before setting off away from the gorge following the path of the river. Our walk took us through sandy dunes, sparse bush, the occasional goat and sporadic fly swarms. However, no more sign of kangaroos, no snakes or spiders, oh well, maybe next time! We must have walked for just over an hour before we stopped for a brief rest and admired some crazy goats risking life and limb tightroping the edge of a cliff face. Funnily enough, the walk back took half the time for some reason. Apart from the first 5 mins we didn't see a single sole for the whole walk. On our return we noticed how Cameron's dad's nice white car was now half red-brown.

After the lookout we checked out the Hawkshead which gave pleasant views of the river from high up, the 'hawkshead' though looked more like a tortoise than a hawk. On our way back we noticed that the Gorge road was now reopened so we decided to go check it out, the road wasn't actually that bad, I guess they didn't want it cut up too much. Nature's Window, our first stop, is an impressive bit of natural architecture, allowing the most touristic of photo opportunity. By now there was a light drizzle so we returned to the car and went and checked out the Z-Bend, which it transpired was just another lookout, by which time my enthusiasm for rocky river views was waning and I was glad when we were finally heading back to Kalbarri.

Back in Kalbarri, the uninterested boat owner was more interested so we hired a small motorboat for an hour ($33) to investigate the river. Captain for the day was myself, without, I should add, any previous boat driving experience other than canoe or rowing boat. Everything was going fine until I got us stuck in the middle of a sandbank in the middle of the river. With some help from Cameron, who it seemed had done this before, we were free. We allowed ourselves a couple of minutes drifting time listening to the sounds of the water rippling against the side of the boat and the distant sound of birdsong. On the way back Cameron decided he didn't like his sunnies (sunglasses) and they promptly slid off his head into the river never to return.

After a campsite dinner we checked out the Kalbarri Motel Hotel which seemed to be the main local hangout. It consisted of a pool room at the back where a pool competition was currently taking place, betting section, dart board and strangest of all a blackboard with the anagram of the day. The prize was approximately 3/4 pint of beer or a small glass of wine, so not much incentive unless you were totally skint. Anyway, needless to say, we couldn't crack it and they wouldn't tell us what it was when we left either!

 

Tuesday 24th June - Kalbarri-Perth

An uneventful journey back to Perth saw us reach Perth by late afternoon, once again having to ordeal about a 1000 traffic lights. We headed out, once again, to Northbridge to sample a bit more of Perth nightlife before we left. We dined at the Thai Elephant, which was a suitably nice restaurant with chilled atmosphere and friendly service. Across from us was a guy with two women, who we worked out must have been work colleagues or lovers or both, anyway he seemed to be ignoring both of them while having a vociferous conversation on his mobile to what we presumed might be his wife. One observation about people on mobile phones is their ability to talk much louder even when they are somewhere quiet, so as a result his entire private life was getting transmitted to the general populous of the restaurant. At one point within his tirade, one of the women with him got up and stormed out. About 5 mins later he left with the other woman and we were all left in peace. The food matched the comedy with the apple and prawn chili standing out. Well worth a visit.

After our unique dining experience we strolled a few blocks down to the Brass Monkey, which was a kind of multi-pub, brasserie, comedy venue and cocktail bar. We started in the Grapeskin, the cocktail bar part of the pub, which offered steep prices, indifferent service but at least tasty cocktails. The clientele here seemed to be amongst the more affluent of Perth's younger generation and on at least 3 occasions one table sent their wine back. After a couple of cocktails we yearned for something a bit more pub like so we checked the rest of the place out. We settled for the bar stools and a couple of Hoegardens, amused at the Winter Warmer posters on the bar.

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